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It seems odd to me to be reaching out to my brothers and sisters in Christ without a purpose or a plan, however, that is what I am doing . While I am not isolated from Christians by any stretch of the imagination, I do sometimes feel alone (from consistent human support, not from divine support) when I look toward the deeper life. Elements of this "aloneness" are the result of the old nature that God is slowly sweeping away. Stated another way, my own fault. A strong, agressive personality takes a while to be molded into Christlikeness, with humility and servanthood. Nevertheless, God seems to be consistently reshaping me, bringing me to the confidence that we can indeed "have the mind of Christ". I am here to share with people who are on a similar journey, who can perhaps offer guidance or support. Honestly, I am uncomfortable not placing a topic for discussion or an agenda to discuss it, but that would seem to defeat the purpose. I was introduced to God for the first time by his words "I AM". I suppose I am here for no other reason to say that I am here too.
God Bless
Scott
Hello Kyle, and thank you for the reply and concern. You were up very late last night.
I reviewed the exercises you suggested. Again, thank you. I have been deelpy engaged in seeking to know myself as God knows me for several years. I am very thankful that the heart is not hidden to God and that he will reveal our hidden motives and heal them as we seek him and permit him to work. A righteousness that is founded on anything less has the danger of leading us to the "righteousness of the Scribes and Pharisees" I spent enough time there and am overjoyed to now be in communion with the Holy Spirit, under the guidance of scripture. Truthfully, this growth in God is the source of my sense of isolation. (from people, not from God.) As I write this I am fully aware that I have to be missing something, but I am not sure what it is. God is a God of community, and I am missing that. Also, I am a very logic/reason based person. I like to be able to defend my thoughts. Much of what I believe is indefensible from a secular point of view, though defensible from a scriptural, witness of the spirit, point of view. I know it is absurd, but I have a hard time stepping out of the worlds demand for "proof". (if anyone else struggles with this, Leslie Newbiggins book "Proper Confidence" is excellent)
So, I find myself in a reality, and God is reality, that does not submit to my usual approach to knowing and discussing. And that is a partial source of frustration.
The second exercise you recommend, "Delighting in Other" actually seems like it would be profoundly beneficial to me. I am currently working to clarify the difference between a "servant heart" and a "subservient heart" in my mind. God has opened my understanding to how this misperception keeps me from connecting with others. In the interest of keeping this from becoming a ramble, I will stop here. I will follow the "delighting in others" exercise and let you know.
Thank you and God Bless
Scott, I actually live in Scotland, so it only seems late!
I think I understand a bit more what you mean. I am a bit of an academic, so I completely understand. Solitude tends to be less hard for me than community as well. I can find myself longing for the ivory tower, when God has me spending much of my time trying to integrate with his body - it tends to be very stretching and sometimes just plain frustrating!
I am glad you are looking through the discipline. You are right, that tends to be a very beneficial exercise. I pray that God uses it in your life.
Thanks again for your thoughts. As always, I appreciate your candor. In His grace, kyle