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Re: Community Discipleship

2/21/2007 11:08:42 AM

GlennMurphy

2 posts

Re: Community Discipleship
(N/A) Modified By GlennMurphy on 2/21/2007 4:09:26 AM)

Wow - Robin and Henri - thank you for encouraging me with your thoughtful comments. So much of what I've learned about the heart - the value and centrality of it comes from the Bible, John Eldredge and Henri Nouwen. For more than half my life I served a God who didn't exist - the one who demanded perfection and performance. And so, I spent a lot of energy to look good on the outside. It also earned me the title of Pastor, so i could tell others how to 'get it right,' too. I polished that brass every day - and received the "rewards" of approval, applause and accolades. Inside I was filled with shame, fear, insecurity, self-doubt, self-condemnation - to the point of believing that God was sorry He ever created me. This way of living the "Christian life" got heavier and heavier. My heart was eroding, my marriage was suffering, and I had no clue what was happening or what to do about it. What I thought was the end of my life, my marriage and my ministry was "only" the path of death and ressurrection. God led me to a good Therapist and started me on the path of healing the massive childhood heart-wounds - wounds I had thought I was immune to. Now I have my heart back (and my marriage and ministry). God's severe mercy and dramatic rescue - His tenderly ransoming my heart - has given me a burning passion to lead churchgoers, and especially, church leaders, in this way of the heart. Some of my greatest moments now are watching dutiful, but shutdown (or flooded) hearts come alive to the song of God's grace. It requires a bigger investment of time than most churches are willing to make in leaders/potential leader's lives. But the folks who go through the process of "interior renovation" become some of our church's best small group leaders. No matter what kind of group or topic they lead their small group participants through I know that they'll do much more than successfully get their group to fill in all the blanks in a Bible study guide. Hearts and lives are going to be transformed.

2/23/2007 3:18:35 PM

Henri

28 posts

Re: Community Discipleship
(N/A)

Glenn, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am struck by how this story is similar to so many stories I have heard, and I am struck even more by how many pastors are still stuck in this reality.

What is sad for me most of all is looking at talented youth in churches across the country who are thrown into leadership because they have secular abilities, whether in speaking in front of people, having charismatic leadership style, etc. - and are never given a chance to grow. I see so many of these people who are trying so hard to be perfect, to pretend that everything is fine, all the while they are void of a spiritual life altogether.

I hope that your ministry is blessed and that your story will free others to make similar changes as you have.

Thanks again. In his redeeming grace, Henri

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